the last time I wrote I was feeling somewhat optimistic regarding the outcome of consequences for Lacey Ambro, the drunk driver who killed my daughter and another teenager and severly injured another. I hope I do not repeat myself too much in this second part...I suffer from PTSD or ADD, one of those that prevent me from not keeping my train of though straight at times... bear with me.
So the last time I wrote, Lacey had been offered a deal which would in turn combine the deaths of my daughter, Zoey Roanoke, and the death of James John English IV, into one felony DUI with death charge carrying a sentence of anwhere from 2-20 years. The third charge of Felony DUI with substantional bodily harm would stay as is and I believe that charge carries a 2-10 year sentence. When I initially heard this news I kind of lost it. Fell apart drank too much to try and numb the pain, and even got myself into some trouble (no not a DUI). You will find that I am an honest open person, you will find that I also do not judge. There is a higher power, whoever that may be, that will make any final judgement. There I go, off track again! Anyway, a meeting was set with lacey and the living victim as well as the families of all the victims for a chance for Lacey to apologize as she was going to accept the deal they offered her. Tjis deal couldve removed as much as 20 years off of her sentence. Well the day before this meeting, she changed her mind and refused the deal so we go to trial sept. 20th. The DA has assured me that there will not be another deal offered, nor will the trial be re-set again. This is what i wanted, however I am scared to death at what I am going to see and hear during the trial. There will be pictures of the accident shown and of their bodies in the hospital. I feel like I will be reliving it all over again...The past 3 1/2 years since I lost my beautiful daughter has been an internal battle. I miss her and my old "normal" more than I can put into words. I resent people who don't have to live with this pain. The problems I had before this seem so menial in comparison. I get overwhelmed and confused much more easily than I used to and I detach from people who I feel I cant relate to. I don't sleep, and I feel like my heart will pound out of my chest sometimes. The heartache is unbearable at times... I don't know who reads my blogs but I need to write so I don't just keep it bottled up in my head... I'm hoping that seeing justice prevail will help bring some closure and lead to my healing....
